


Bruise Him Like Puzzle Pieces, Love Him Like The Highway

by frenchpirate (Whiskey_n_speed)



Category: Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Federal Agents, Bruises, Drug Dealing, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Psychic Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-04
Updated: 2014-01-04
Packaged: 2018-01-07 11:47:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1119461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whiskey_n_speed/pseuds/frenchpirate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pete Wentz never meant to hurt anyone, but sometimes he just ends up doing so anyways. Mikey never meant to hurt anyone either, especially not the ones he cares about, but as his secrets grow so does the chance of doing exactly that. They both knew they were doomed from the start, so they might as well make the most of it while they can and always try not to step so far that they fall on their faces. </p><p>~</p><p>“Being sorry is useless”</p><p>“I guess. But lots of things are useless. Doesn’t mean they aren’t nice. Sympathy for example. And fucking”</p><p>“That makes you kind of useless to me” Pete stated, and he sounded kind of careless but Mikey swore there were some kind of joking spark to his voice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bruise Him Like Puzzle Pieces, Love Him Like The Highway

**Author's Note:**

> this is the result of a short obsession i had with tragic lovestories and fucking on top of cars, it was supposed to be short but look what happened. i think it got kind of weird and im not used to writing action scene ish things so this is kind of an experiment. thanks alot to blake char_don_nay for encouragement and being excited, hope you enjoy.

_“Réalisant mon espoir, Je me lance, vers la gloire”_

The first time Mikey was lying spread across the hood of this very car, a black DeVille ’64 because they were apparently _that_ classy, with Pete hovering above him, sweaty and only sort of undressed, back arching upwards and dust on his palms, smudging the car that Pete would get polished the very same day to remove all traces of Mikeys presence, he figured that being a special agent maybe wasn’t exactly what he was destined to do for a living. Which was kind of a late revelation to have after he’d been in the business for soon to be 10 years, and it wasn’t like he’d quit anyways, not with his three excellent partners and as much acknowledgement and action he got from his job, and besides, the salary wasn’t anything to complain about.

It was just that, when it didn’t take more than being passed up alone one night by the mastermind behind Jersey’s biggest drug-cartel, Pete Wentz, that his team in particular had been trying to sabotage for almost a year, who had some very interesting negotiations to make, before Mikey was thinking with his dick and probably putting their whole organization in danger, he probably was what his colleagues would call ‘easily persuaded’. Or in other words a fucking horndog douchebag. So naturally he hadn’t told anyone about these small complications that had ensued with the whole ‘don’t interact with the enemy’ deal. They were supposed to spy on Pete and his dealers, try and hunt them down and get them arrested but alive, and if that wasn’t possible they were more than officially allowed to shoot them too, not frequently spend time with them off duty, in ways that were a lot more than friendly.

Besides, being around Pete like this probably gave him plenty of occasions to take advantage of the situation and use some of all the information he could so easily take in if he wanted to and use it against Pete, or he could’ve brought the rest of the team with him just once and that would’ve been it, Pete would’ve been caught off guard and could’ve been easily captured, or he’d had countless opportunities to just flat out kill him. But he didn’t do any of this; he just kept meeting up with Pete in secrecy, getting his brains fucked out and then returning back to their base as if nothing had happened at all, while having more knowledge about the drug-boss stored in his mind that any of his colleagues combined could ever hope for. It was kind of shitty of him, but he guessed he kind of enjoyed their little encounters, and didn’t really want them to end.

Plus, he kind of had the idea that Pete was on the same wavelength as him, because he’d never tried taking Mikey as a hostage, killing him or beating the shit out of him as a warning for his team to never try and take him down anymore, which he could’ve done just as easily. They kind of laid themselves out to each other, completely vulnerable and defenseless, and that had created some kind of weird trust between them. ‘I don’t fuck your life up if you don’t fuck mine up’.

~

“Where’ve you been?” Gerard asked casually, a late afternoon as Mikey slipped inside the front door of the flat, trying his best not to look like someone who just got thoroughly laid, but Mikey wasn’t dumb enough to miss the cautious undertone. Living with three other agents had both its pros and cons; one of them was being constantly kept an eye on. It could be nice, but when he was trying to perform highly immoral acts of very hot sex behind their backs, it was sort of unsettling in the long run.

“Went to get my car checked, it’s been making noises for a week, turns out it was just one of the tires” he lied before dropping down opposite to his brother on one of the few leather couches strewn across their living room.  Frank was half asleep, lying with his head in Gerards lap, who steadily ran his hand through Franks hair. Ray was on the floor taking apart some hardware, for the mere sake of fun. Sometimes Mikey was kind of afraid that Rays brains would overdevelop and shut down, since he was definitely smarter than the rest of them combined, and he constantly found new ways to increase his knowledge. He was the only one who was actually really active in the day hours, except for Mikey when he was out meeting Pete. They always met up in broad daylight because both Pete and Mikey worked during the night, which made it much safer to have their small sessions in the middle of the day. Frank mostly slept from dawn to sunset, always on various furniture around the apartment, never in his bed, while Gerard spent most days in front of the TV, watching ridiculous cartoons that he’d seen a hundred times before, deadpanning completely and without much contact to the outside world. Mikey read a lot, and had started spending a lot of time in his own bedroom, mostly to avoid the others and their questions about his small trips without them.

“Huh, you should’ve told. Ray just fixed the truck, it’s been leaking water and it took like ten minutes” Gerard mumbled, and Mikey shrugged though he couldn’t see it when he was looking at the screen. Ray just made a grunt in agreement from the floor before going back to ignoring them in favor for his little technology project.

“I’ll tell you next time.”

He was never very talkative when he came back, so it didn’t take long before he just hurried to his bedroom where he failed an attempt to take a nap, and ended up sticking his hand down the front of his slacks and rubbing one out thinking about all the dirty things he’d just done to the city’s most wanted criminal. It kind of freaked him out that it got him off so easily, but instead of getting any further into thinking of it in his post-orgasm no-filtered haze, he just headed in the shower.

So yeah, he thought a lot about Pete Wentz, even when they had just seen each other. But it wasn’t like there was time or space to have much of a social life with a job like his, where they had to lay low during the daytime and be on duty through the nights. This was kind of the only thing he had going except for work and the stacks of books he’d read in the corner of his room that were steadily growing.

He liked telling himself that that was why he let Pete do all these things to him; because he was bored and tired and restless from spending every single day between the same four walls with the same three guys, and he guessed Pete had his own reasons. Because it wasn’t as much of an actual _thing_ , as it was more of a lust-driven obsession, it was dangerous and exciting and _so_ forbidden. Mikey wasn’t sure he would’ve done it so eagerly if Pete had been anybody else than who he was. He wasn’t sure if that made it a thing. Either way, it wasn’t something he and Pete ever talked about, not that they talked a lot in general, so there was not really any reason to try and define it by himself either.

~

In general, Mikey wasn’t as energetic as Frank, as talkative and outgoing as Gerard or as determined as Ray. He was kind of the quiet one. The one that had been added to the group later, mostly because he was Gerards younger brother. He wasn’t sure would’ve been allowed the job he had and to work the cases that they did if he hadn’t had family in the business. Sometimes it made him think if this really was what he was supposed to do, but he always came to the conclusion that it was, because he did love his job, right from the abysses of paperwork that sometimes hoarded on their desks, and right to the first-hand action with guns and sirens that they occasionally was a part of.

He never felt left out either, though he sometimes felt that he was definitely less equipped to be a fed than the other three, it was more that he shut himself out a little now and then, especially lately since he was now hiding something from them.

For a couple of nights he stayed behind his desk, not going on coffee breaks with them and just throwing himself headfirst into the paperwork, just to have an excuse to avoid the small talk. He’d witnessed interrogations countless times in his life, he knew how easy it was to let something slip, the tiniest detail that maybe didn’t have anything to do with the subject, but then suddenly something made sense and it all chained together until they knew exactly where he’d been and when. So he was maybe turning slightly passive, more than usual at least, but it wasn’t something he’d guess that anyone noticed.

~

The next time his phone rang with the hidden number that he didn’t even doubt by now was Petes, was a couple of days later, so early in the morning that the sun barely touched the sky and they had just gotten home from a case with some hoarded guns. It had been a refreshing exchange from three nights in a row behind a desk, especially since it had been easily taken care of. The other three had gone straight to sleep when they came home, exhausted from the busy shift, but Mikey had stayed awake for a while.

Usually there went either three or four days between Pete contacted him, it was always Pete who called first, some sort of unspoken ritual that they had, and Mikey just _felt_ that this was a Pete kind of day.

“Mikey” his voice said, already raspy and low like Mikey knew it got when he was already ridden with the kind of sexual frustration that Mikey was going to be a victim of later. He felt his dick twitch in his pants just by the thought, and yeah, it was definitely a Pete-day today.

“When and where?” Mikey whispered, voice so low that he was sure nobody else than Pete could hear him, just in case one of the others had woken up, because he didn’t really see any reason not to go straight to the point of the call.

“Eager, are we?” There was a mocking tone to his voice that Mikey partly found unbearably annoying, and partly extremely hot. To him, Pete was kind of complicated, hell, he was one big complication in Mikeys life, but usually he refused to think about that because overthinking never lead to any good decisions. Not that this was a good decision either, by further thought, but overthinking always lead to worse decisions than not thinking at all. So he just frequently laid his head back and exposed himself to a man he was supposed to despise, not wanting to care about the consequences.

“Fuck off” he mumbled into the phone.  

“Outside the scrapping, give me half an hour, don’t drive, your car is recognizable” he instructed, while Mikey kept quiet, straining himself from mentioning that Petes car was just as recognizable because Pete _had_ to drive a giant smartass car – probably some rich dealer-code that he should’ve taken further notice of than he did. Instead he let Pete finish talking and hang up, thereafter he quickly put on a set of clean clothes that didn’t smell like a ten hour work shift and as stealthily as possible headed out the door.

~

He’d been standing outside the entrance to the car scrapping for less than five minutes, picking on the sleeve of his light jacket and breathing in the smell of fresh mornings and gasoline, when the black Cadillac rounded the corner and approached him, stopping a few feet away at the side of the road. He smirked as he recognized the silhouette behind the wheel, and it was like he could already feel the unholy acts that was about to unfold when he slid into the passenger seat without saying anything to the man beside him, shutting the door and not bothering with a seatbelt as Pete sped up and left the scrapping behind.

~

They drove out to the middle of fucking nowhere, they always did, and when there was nothing around them except fields and highways and sometimes a forest, Pete pulled over at a lay-by and they both got out. It had struck Mikey more than once it would possibly be easier to just do it _in_ the car, but then again, maybe Pete didn’t want to risk staining the expensive white leather seats, or maybe he didn’t want to be all crammed up in the backseat of his own car like a sixteen year-old who’s too impatient to wait until he gets home in his moms house, or maybe he just liked doing it over the hood of the car. Mikey didn’t ask, because he kind of liked it too. He’d hooked up in a car before, sure, who hadn’t, and there was something about the fact that they had more space and more light and it was outside in the middle of the day that made it more exciting, more of a turn-on. So he didn’t see any reason to question something that worked perfectly fine.

“Sit” Pete demanded, gesturing towards the shiny black metal and Mikey took a few steps back until the bonnet hit the back of his thighs and pushed himself up until he was sitting on it. Pete smoothly spread Mikeys legs by sliding in between them, getting a whole lot closer which suited Mikey perfectly. “God, I have been fucking- _fuck_ ” he growled, not making an awful lot of sense.

“Stop talking” Mikey smirked, sliding his hands around Petes waist and pulling him all the way into his personal space, the feeling of Petes ribcage and toned sides through his ridiculously expensive Italian suit being something that Mikey could almost miss in the days that went between their hook-ups. Then he leaned over and licked into Petes mouth, the taste of dry whiskey and the smell of leather and cologne hitting him like a train, both sensations going straight to his dick.

He hissed when Pete grinded his hips against his crotch while sliding his hands into Mikeys hair that was usually pushed back and had some sort of style, messing it all up. His fingertips dug into Mikeys skull as Mikey pushed a little harder against Petes mouth, letting his tongue slide across the roof of his mouth before switching to sucking on his tongue.

It made Pete tug on Mikeys hair, and he moaned muffled into Petes mouth, and then Pete tugged again, a little harder, causing the same reaction again. “Like that?” he asked. Then another tug and Mikey nodded desperately and pushed further forward, almost slipping off the car before Pete got the hint and pushed back against him, securing his spot on the bonnet.

Pete kept on pulling Mikeys hair, but as much as he loved it, he’d really like some more friction in his crotch area really soon, so he pulled back and stared at Pete, whose dark eyes were kind of challenging but also kind of sparkling and maybe he was a little drunk because Mikey suspected that Pete was always a little drunk. Mikey wasn’t drunk at all, he rarely was, he just felt kind of intoxicated because he was ridden with heavy lust. “Come _on_ ” he whispered, and then Pete sent him a smug grin.

“You really are eager” he panted into Mikeys mouth. “I like you when you’re a little desperate”

“Shut up” Mikey hissed back, letting his head fall back as Pete reached down and zipped open his jeans, giving him direct access to Mikeys dick as he deliberately had chosen not to wear underwear since boxers would just make everything more difficult.

“That’s considerate” Pete stated as he wrapped his hand tightly around Mikey dick, his other hand steady on Mikeys hip while Mikey let his head fall back and a long groan escape his throat. Fucking _finally_.

“I’m a considerate person” he mumbled in between moans as Pete slowly stroked him, too slow in his opinion, he was going to pass out before they got around to doing anything else at this pace, which would be kind of sad. 

“You’re just a really, _really_ easy lay” Pete grinned before lingering at a kiss in the corner of Mikeys mouth. Then he let go of Mikey and sank to his knees, and Mikey had to look away for a second and take a deep breath since Pete didn’t do this a lot because he mostly liked to be the one having the upper hand, but when he did, it was definitely on Mikeys top ten-list of favorite sights ever.  So yeah, maybe he was kind of an easy lay, after all it hadn’t really taken Pete more than an ‘I can’t get you out of my head’, ‘I really want to fuck you’ and a very intense case of bedroom eyes before Mikey had been convinced that fucking Pete Wentz was a really good idea, but it wasn’t something he was particularly ashamed of since he got just as much out of it as Pete did. Maybe he was a little ashamed later when he got home and his friends shot questioning glances at him. Right now he was so far from being any kind of ashamed.

He leaned back to rest on his elbows when Pete took him into his mouth and he didn’t hold back the noise as Pete went as deep as he could, lips stretched tightly around Mikeys length and tongue working over the underside. “Fuck, you have a porn mouth” he whined, the last syllables a little pitched because okay yeah, _there_. Pete just hummed around his dick with a hand at the base and Mikeys arms were shaking lightly from keeping up his weight while he was about to come. “Pete, now – _fuck, Pete_ ”

Pete got the hint pretty fast and pulled off, sliding his tongue around the head one last time before grinning up at Mikey, licking his lips that were pink and swollen and smeared with saliva and pre-come, and that just did it for Mikey. He took a couple of ragged breaths and made a whimpering noise while pressing his eyes shot as he came all over Petes hand that was still on his dick and on his own thighs.

His jeans got kind of stained, and he’d have to do laundry before the others woke up at home, but that was probably the last thing in the world on his mind right now, because he looked down to find out that Pete hadn’t really moved away when Mikey came. Which resulted in he now had come spurted across his mouth and cheeks, dripping down his chin and a little onto the color if his suit, and if it wasn’t for the fact that he’d just gotten off, Mikey would’ve probably done so in a matter of moments because Pete with come on his face might just range that much higher than Pete giving blowjobs on his list of favorite sights. All in all his morning was generally very satisfying, and he was fairly certain from previous experience that they’d just begun.

After sending Mikey another gaze that did unspeakable things to the pit of his stomach, he got up and leaned in until his face was more or less right above Mikeys. “That was fun” he mouthed teasingly, bit his lip and then dipped in for a kiss, letting Mikey taste himself and leaving traces of spit and come before he moved down to pull Mikeys jeans further down. “Fucking is fun, too” he smirked, as if Mikey wasn’t aware exactly how fun fucking Pete was.

Then he worked the pants all the way off and threw Mikeys legs across his shoulders before stretching back up, the massive bulge in his pants grinding against Mikeys ass.

Pete took a couple of fingers into his mouth and sucked on them, letting Mikey stare all he wanted, before sliding them down and working one inside Mikey, slowly at first, letting him get used to the stretch, but quickly speeding up and adding another.

“More?” he asked and leaned forward again, staring into Mikeys eyes while Mikey whimpered and arched beneath him. There was something about Petes eyes, whether it was the lust or the spark or the fact that he was probably a raging psychopath and that showed the most in his eyes, that made it burn inside Mikey. He made a pleading noise in return and Pete easily slipped another finger inside him, quickly working them in and out until Mikey started getting hard again, squirming and whining as if he’d never tried anything better. Maybe he hadn’t.

“-ready” Mikey sighed, his voice trembling. Then he gave up on keeping himself up and just laid down flat on his back, arms above his head, while Pete pulled his fingers out, leaving Mikey feeling really empty and needy.

“You sure?” Pete pouted, looking down at Mikey with a playful look.

“Yes I’m fucking sure” he hissed, pressed his eyes shut and arched his back upwards a little, _inviting_.

He didn’t open his eyes to look down at Pete, but he heard the significant noise of a zipper opening, a condom wrapper tearing and Pete spitting in his palm and then he sighed in relief.

“Want it?” Pete asked, and Mikey almost felt like rolling his eyes, but instead he looked down at Petes stupid grin. He kind of despised him, maybe. Not really.

“You son of a bitch”

“You bet” Pete mumbled before positioning himself and finally, _finally_ pushing in and filling Mikey out like he had wanted him to basically since he got in the car, keeping his hands gripping tight around Mikeys hips and pushing so far in that Mikey whined again and shifted in pleasure, pushing further up against Pete.

It didn’t take long before Pete started speeding up, ramming harder into Mikey against the edge of the car, growling low and steadily, opposing to Mikeys torn and high-pitched outbursts when Pete hit that particular spot that he’d almost learned to aim for instinctively by now. He was really good at finding that spot.

“God, come on, Pete, _deeper_ ” Mikey hissed, letting his jaw fall open and clenching his hands tightly around thin air.

“You’re so fucking needy” Pete groaned, but bent further forward over Mikey anyways, making his knees his hit chest, and thrusting in a little harder, making Mikey exclaim a string of ragged moans. “Fuck, Mikey, I’m gonna come in a minute”

Their faces was only a couple of inches apart, when Pete reached down to stroke Mikey again, his hairline was slick with sweat and his mouth hanging open, breathing quickly and Mikey wasn’t able to focus of anything else than Petes weight on top of him, inside of him and around him, because he was just so completely caught up in this guy right now, and he loved every second of it.

“Pete, _Pete_ ” he whimpered and tried catching his breath, he was almost over the edge again, and Pete just needed to lean down and tuck Mikeys lower lip into his mouth, playfully biting down on it while he twisted his wrist a little and then Mikey saw stars, staining Petes suit jacket as well as his own t-shirt.

Pete pressed his forehead against Mikeys, breathing hard and thrusting the last couple of times before he went stiff above Mikey and a long moan escaped him, as he went limb and slouched himself on top of Mikey, pressing him against the hood of the car.

It took a while before he pulled out, and when he did, Mikey whimpered and Pete kissed him again to make him shut up, deep and intense before standing back up and pulling up his pants. While Mikey was still getting himself together, Pete also picked up Mikeys jeans and threw them at him. They were stained with dust and sperm and smelled like sex and Pete, and Mikey would really have to do laundry when he came home, silently praying that the others hadn’t woken up yet.

“God Mikey, that was-“ Pete mumbled and wiped his face with his hands and then his hands on his pants. – kind of gross, really, none the less Mikey was so, so into it.

“Yeah, wow” he agreed, pulling on the jeans and getting up from the car. He watched Pete brush some dust off of his sleeves and head towards the door to the driver’s seat. Mikey quickly followed, getting into the car, carefully avoiding getting any kind of substances on the seats.

~

The drives back to Newark were mostly quiet, they never said a lot though they’d probably have endless things to talk about if they tried, being from two worlds pretty much opposite of each other and all. Sometimes they exchanged a few sentences, but it was never anything like a friendly conversation. They weren’t friends. It was something else. Something that Mikey refused trying to label, other that mindless fucking, secrets and sex-bruises on his back that he pretended weren’t there when he got back to the flat and almost flinched when he sat down. Secretly he kind of liked the bruises though; they were like small reminders that these crazy little parts of his life were real.

~

Pete dropped him off at the car scrapping where he’d picked him up, and about twenty minutes later Mikey let himself into the apartment. It was still so early in the morning that the other three would probably deem it completely inhuman to be up right now, the sky was still pink above him and city was quiet.

~

He was standing over the washing machine in the bathroom, stuffing the last of his clothes in before slamming it shut and starting it. He had a towel wrapped around his waist, and he was about to drop it and hit the shower when someone pulled the handle of the door and Mikey suddenly found himself face to face with Gerard.

“Oh, ‘morning” Gerard mumbled, looking slightly disoriented and not really awake. It only took a couple of seconds though, before he frowned at Mikey and looked at the washing machine and then back at Mikey, who silently cursed his inability to remember to lock the fucking door. Like it wasn’t awkward enough when someone walked in on him taking a leak, but this was just straight up bad timing. “Why are you doing laundry, it’s like seven in the morning?”

“I, um-“ he started, but since he didn’t really know what to say. His brain was way too exhausted and fucked out to think properly before he’d gotten some sleep.

Then Gerard took a step closer and examined Mikey a little closer. “You’re dirty, why are you-, uh, you smell like- _oh_. You’ve been out, haven’t you?” His eyes widened a little at his discovery and Mikey could feel himself panic slightly. This was so, so not a part of his plan. This was like his anti-plan.

“Kinda” Mikey admitted, not really seeing any reason to try and lie about that because yeah, it was pretty obvious. He smelled like someone who’d just had sex and he looked like someone who’d just had sex and he also acted like that.

“Why are you keeping it secret?”

Mikey didn’t reply. He just squirmed uncomfortable under his brother’s eyes.

“It’s not, y’know, red light district, is it?”

“Jesus Christ, Gerard, no” Mikey huffed, kind of relieved that there was finally a question he could answer truthfully, so much actually that he forgot to be a little offended by Gerards conclusions.

“Well, I wouldn’t know. You’re being really weird lately” he said harshly, and Mikey shrugged half-heartedly. He hadn’t really expected anyone to notice, and it wasn’t like he didn’t feel really, really bad about it, he just chose to ignore that feeling most of the time. Gerard didn’t need to add to his guilty conscience. “Just-“ he sighed deeply.

“Be safe. I’m a little worried about you”

He’d left the bathroom again before Mikey could respond, and Mikey slowly went over and locked the door before taking a shower. Partly he felt bad because he didn’t want to worry Gerard, he’d already been upset enough that Mikey choose to follow his footsteps when it came to career when it obviously was a somewhat dangerous business, and Mikey didn’t want to make it worse. He also felt even worse now because they’d probably be greatly rewarded if they actually managed to capture Pete and shut down some of the drug dealing he was in charge of, but Mikey just happened to be too selfish to make that happen. And now he also felt bad because Gerard was right, he was an ass to him, Frank and Ray and there was definitely reason to be worried. For all of them, but he guessed that his reasons for worrying were a little different than theirs.

~

After that Gerard stopped asking him questions when he came and left at odd hours of the day, just sent him worried looks out the corners of his eyes that he thought Mikey didn’t notice, but since Mikey had steadily built up a habit of being constantly hyperaware of everything around him, he noticed everytime his brother looked at him like that. It made him feel horrible, so at some point he stopped looking at Gerard that often; tried to ignore it. It still got him all worked up and nervous though.

~

A few weeks later, he was in the passenger seat of Petes car. They were still at the lay-by Pete had stopped at this time, never the same as last time, catching their breaths as the rain had started dripping against the windshield, washing off their handprints. It was kind of awesome timing.

They were supposed to be driving back to the city, it was late afternoon and as soon as the sun went down, Mikey’s duty started and he’d have to shower first and all that, so he was kind of late but he didn’t really mind right now. He was still in that Zen-state of mind right after an orgasm, and he was watching Pete who looked really hot like this, sitting with his head leaned back, eyes closed and breathing deeply with Mikey all over his shirt.

“Why do you do it?” The words had left his mouth before he really thought about it, because if he’d thought about it he wouldn’t have asked. This was kind of crossing a line. Their whole thing was that they didn’t ask questions, there weren’t any conversation or awkwardness or confusion.

“Do what?” Pete asked, opening his eyes but not turning his head towards Mikey.

“The whole thing. Drugs. Crime, y’know” he said, trying to sound casual but wasn’t really sure he managed. He couldn’t come up with any other reason for his questions than that he was genuinely interested. It hadn’t even struck him that it might sound like he had finally gotten on the right path and was trying to collect valuable informations. Only, then it wasn’t the right kind of questions he was asking. And he was pretty sure Pete knew that too, which was why he actually answered.

“That’s what I know how to do. I’m good at it. Why do you do yours? Is it the same justice-bullshit as all the other feds, law and order, blah blah?” He half-laughed, half-sighed and Mikey slowly shook his head.

“Not really. My brother was in the business before me, I work with him now too. He’s the black-haired one. It just seemed easy to do what he did”

“So that’s why you do this, me, it’s like your spare of individuality. Thinking for yourself, or, y’know, acting for yourself at least. I’m not sure how much thinking is involved on you part” Pete uttered smugly and looked over at Mikey who couldn’t help but let the corner of his mouth creep upwards.

“I don’t know. My head’s kinda weird sometimes. I try not to think, but I’m bad at not thinking” he confessed.

“Me too. It’s as if things I like will disappear if I think too much about them. So I don’t. I never wanted to hurt anyone, not severely at least. But like, when I don’t even try and consider the consequences, sometimes I just end up there”

Mikey didn’t really know what to say. Of course he’d known from the very beginning that Pete was dangerous and that he had more lives on his conscience than Mikey could probably count, or wanted to, but it felt a lot different when it was laid out to him like that, by someone who was a lot more vulnerable than what anyone else saw.

“I shot a guy once” he ended up mouthing. It wasn’t something he thought about a lot.

“Yeah? How did it feel?” Pete asked, raising his eyebrow at him. That wasn’t really the kind of question Mikey had expected, but then again, it was Pete.

“Horrible. He was just lying there, bleeding and crying until he went silent. He was barely more than a kid, already homeless, life-long addiction in front of him. He was panicking and pulled a gun on me. I’d bet you a million dollars it wasn’t his own. I like to tell myself I acted in self-defense. That he would’ve done the same if I hadn’t been quicker. That’s what the others told me when we came back from the station, at least.” Mikey breathed quicker when he was done speaking, and his hands were unsteady. They had tried their hardest to justify his actions, and Mikey had done his best to try and believe them. Pete just looked at him with some kind of indulgence.

Somehow that didn’t feel half as painful.

“It’s a hard business to be in. On both sides, I guess”

“Don’t you ever wish you were doing something else?”  Mikey asked then, just to change the subject, mostly.

“All the damn time. But I’m not sure what other options there was. I had siblings. My brother’s gone, I haven’t seen him  since I was 17 and my sister died a few years back. She was married to some fucking redneck scum. He beat the crap out of her and she just wouldn’t leave. I didn’t know what else to do than make some money in any way I could. Try and stay afloat”

“I’m sorry”

“I stopped needing people being sorry for me a long time ago” he said harshly, reaching up and rubbing his temple. “Being sorry is useless”

“I guess. But lots of things are useless. Doesn’t mean they aren’t nice. Sympathy for example. And fucking”

“That makes you kind of useless to me” Pete stated, and he sounded kind of careless but Mikey swore there were some kind of joking spark to his voice.

“So do you want to stop fucking me?”

“ _God,_ no. The fucking part is nice. It would’ve been nicer under circumstances where you weren’t supposed to want me dead, though”

“Yeah, the other way around too”

Pete went quiet after that. Mikey did too. Different circumstances, true, it sounded appealing, to not have to hide or pretend or watch where they put their feet all the time because suddenly they might take one step too far and fall flat on their faces. It wasn’t that Mikey wanted _more_ than what they already had, he didn’t even dare to think that thought, it was just that he wished it had been easier. Different circumstances, yeah.

~

“Did something happen to your-“

“No” Mikey cut off and pulled down his sleeve that had ridden slightly up and exposed his wrist, and Frank frowned at him with a weird look that Mikey tried to shrug off. Pete Wentz had happened to his wrist, pinning him down in the backseat of his car, squeezing strong fingers around his bony limbs, and that had happened to leave a few bruises above his hands. He’d worn long sleeves for a couple of days for this exact reason, he didn’t want any kinds of questions. Which was kind of too late now.

Gerard shot him a look from the other couch where he’d been sitting fiddling with the remote for a while now. “Mikey-“

“Shouldn’t we be going? We’re supposed to be there in forty minutes” Mikey tried desperately as he really, really didn’t want to have any kind of discussion relating to his sex-life in the middle of the fucking living room, with his own brother even.

“No we’re not” Frank smirked, looking like someone who caught up to these kinds of things much quicker than Gerard. “Are you sure nothing happened to you”

“Yes we are and yes I am. I’m gonna go start the car”

He got up a little too quickly from where he’d been sitting, but still didn’t miss Franks puzzled and slightly amused look, even though he blatantly pretended that he did.

~

It was a tense shift, Mikey avoided talking to the three others as much as he could when he was working side by side with them, which sometimes included being crammed in the same car, and he was twitchy and jumpy and probably seemed even more like someone who was hiding something.

The others wasn’t very discreet around him either, sending him curious looks (or just worried on Gerards behalf) and Frank kept dropping obvious sexual innuendos, and all in all it was probably the longest night of Mikeys life, and he just wanted to go home and hide forever. Or he wanted to go see Pete, but he wasn’t supposed to feel that way, he wasn’t supposed to associate Pete with emotional comfort. But even more importantly, they hadn’t been supposed to find out about him having something with someone, it didn’t matter that they didn’t know it was Pete, because they’d find out eventually. Ray was smart, Frank was an intruding little asshole at times and Gerard was his _brother._ He just had to look at Mikey the right way before he spilled out everything, and all in all this whole situation was shaping up to look pretty bad for him. He had no idea what on earth he could do about it though, because it seemed that pretending there was nothing going on at all didn’t work out very well. Of course he could always end it with Pete, and it wasn’t as much possibly angering an extremely talented criminal that made him exclude that option, as much as it was him wanting to keep seeing Pete. He was really kind of far out, sometimes.

~

To his friends, it quickly became like a second grade game of truth or dare; ‘Mikey’s got someone, who finds out first who it is’ and he’d give them, they were playing well. To Mikey though, it was a matter of the trust between the four of them, it was a matter of his job, his reputation and who knew what else he was jeopardizing. So he just had to be that much better at the game than they did. That included spending most of his time out of the flat, because if he weren’t there to look guilty, they had that much less of a clue. Not that they had a clue anyways, not the slightest, they would probably guess David Bowie, Charles Manson and George Bush before they guessed Pete Wentz. He was that far out. But there were three of them and only one of him so at some point they’d find some dirty trick to break him, and then they’d find out that it was so much more than a stupid crush or a fuckbuddy or an awkward secret that he was hiding from them.

~

The intervals between Petes calls started decreasing, it had gone from a week to a few days, to a couple and by now they were down to him calling once a day. They still didn’t really do anything besides fucking and sitting in silence on the drives back and forth, except sometimes they did. It was complicated. Part of Mikeys brain kept nagging him and trying to get him to justify it towards himself because maybe he sort of liked Pete better than what was originally intended, but another part of his brain told the righteous part to shut up and just do what felt nice, and Mikey listened mostly to that part. It did feel nice, except for the part of it where he had to keep a constantly growing amount of secrets from the three people he was closest to, and simultaneously deal with his own emotional fucking around, which was also starting to seem kind of impossible, or well, more impossible than usual, which was kind of a lot. But besides that, anyways.

~

As winter snuck up on them, it kind of got too cold for them to do anything outside in the gradually falling temperature, and without any questioning or further thought, they’d moved the sex to inside the car. Apparently, Pete was just as okay with being inside the car as he was with being on it, or else he’d become that between the first time they met up and now. Anyways, Mikey wasn’t going to complain, since backseats were softer, and though there was less space, they could also keep the heat on and fog up all the windows. It was kind of stupid and teenage-ish that Mikey kind of liked to leave handprints on the glass like he was Rose Dawson or something, but anyways, they were probably just as doomed as if they’d been on the Titanic. Might as well make the most of it while they could, and then try and get out alive. After all, that was what they both did for a living.

~

“Mikey, can I borrow your phone? I forgot mine at the office and I need to call Frank and tell him to bring it back with him” Gerard said, and Mikey shrugged and handed him the cell. Gerard headed out of Mikeys bedroom, quickly dialing Franks number, and Mikey laid back on his bed listening to Gerard explaining exactly where on the absolute chaos that was his desk where his phone was supposed to be. It took a while, but it seemed that finally Frank and Gerard had found out what they each were trying to explain, and then they dived into a deeper conversation about some kind of coffee that Frank was supposed to bring with him home, and Mikey kind of dozed off while Gerards voice filled the flat.

He didn’t wake up until he heard his ringtone going off, and he’d already reached to his nightstand where he usually kept his phone before he remembered that, _oh yeah_ , Gerard had it, and it wasn’t like he didn’t know who was calling.

Mikey stumbled out of his bed and sprinted halfway through the apartment, just accurately entering the living room with a panicked look on his face to witness Gerard answering his phone. “Yes?”

He couldn’t hear Pete’s voice on the other end of the phone, but he didn’t need to either. Watching Gerard was enough, he frowned first and then he looked up at Mikey with a shocked look and his mouth slightly open. “No, he’s- uhm, he’s not here right now. Why don’t you call later” he replied to whatever it was that Mikey hadn’t heard, and his voice got harsh towards the end of the sentence, before he hung up and threw the phone at Mikey who caught it kind of clumsily.

“Mikey, who was that?” he demanded to know, and his voice was in a tone that made Mikeys stomach turn itself inside out. He felt like a six year old who had broken his moms favorite vase and gotten caught in the act. He squirmed under his brothers eyes.

“How would I know?” he tried, shrugging apologetically at his brother.

“Well, he sure seemed to know _you_ ” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” Mikey said, crossing his arms and trying to look a little more dignified.

“Mikey, what’s going on with you, who are this person you won’t tell us about, what’s with all the secrets?” Worry was seeping through the ice in his voice, and he was talking louder, like Mikey was deaf, or too stupid to understand him. Right now Mikey felt a little like he was both.

“It’s nothing. Really” he lied, his breath was speeding up a little and he’d guess that he didn’t look very trustable at the moment.

“Mikey” Gerard hissed threatening and took a few steps closer to Mikey. “You tell me right now what’s going on, and why this guy wants you to show up at some fucking deserted place in discreet clothes. What is this? Where do you go when you just disappear, for _hours_ sometimes?”

“It’s not-“ Mikey started, and took a deep breath. “It’s not what you think”

“Hell Mikey, _I_ don’t even know what I think anymore. I just know I’m worried like fuck that my baby brother’s into some knee-deep shit he can’t control, and I want to help him” Gerard yelled, and there was an almost pleading tone to his voice that made Mikey feel like peeling his own skin off. He never meant to worry Gerard, or hurt him or make him angry, but now here he was and he really, _really_ was into some knee-deep shit, probably like shoulder-deep shit. The difference was just that he possibly could control this just fine if he’d just tried. But he’d never tried to stop it. He’d never wanted to. And as Gerard reached out and grabbed his shoulders and shook them while begging Mikey to let him help, he still didn’t want to stop it. He just wished he’d never needed to hide it. He never meant to hurt anyone.

He never meant to knee Gerard in the stomach, but as Pete so poetically had expressed it ‘when I don’t think about the consequences, sometimes I just end up there’, and right now Mikey was kind of running on impulses, because Gerard was keeping a tight grip on his shoulders and demanding answers that Mikey couldn’t give him, and though he’d had years of training in not panicking in heated situations, fighting with his brother was just too much.

The air was knocked out of Gerard and he bent over coughing, and before he’d gotten a hold of himself again, Mikey had grabbed his car keys and was out the door.

Down in the garage he stopped for a while and caught his breath, thinking about what he’d just done. He was a horrible person. He also felt like vomiting, and possibly burying himself and never coming back to the real world. Instead he just got in his car, and drove the short distance out to the car scrapping where there wasn’t any life in sight no matter which direction he turned, and after he’d parked his car he got out and emptied the contents of his stomach on the ground, leaning on a fence that surrounded the piles of steel that once had been cars. He was a miserable fuck-up, and he felt sort of homeless. There was nowhere to go, he’d just fucking _physically hurt_ his own brother in favor for a man who he had no idea if he could even rely on, and who wanted nothing to do with him except sex and car rides. He had really gotten his priorities messed severely up somewhere along the way. And now it was kind of catching up on him.

~

He stayed in his car overnight, safely hidden in the parking lot of the scrapping where he and Pete usually met up, and as the night went by and Gerard, Frank and Ray probably went to work and home again, just without Mikey this time, possibly not talking about what had happened, hell, maybe Gerard hadn’t even told the other two, Mikey sat sleeplessly and stared at the stars above him, wondering when in the world his life got this fucked up.

He kind of knew when, he actually remembered it in great detail. He’d been out alone for once, he was trying to find a hideout for some young fuckups who had sat a house on fire, unintentionally most likely, but none the less with a death count of three, and he had been investigating some windows in an alley, while the other three had been in the office doing the paperwork and taking care of some witnesses. It had just been a passageway between two of the main downtown roads where most of Newark’s nightlife had its center, and there had been drunken people absolutely everywhere, so Mikey had easily blended in with the crowd, trying to find out if the apartment seemed like a reasonable hideout for the people they were looking for.

Or, at least he’d thought he blended in, but apparently he’d been more recognizable than he first counted on, because at some point where he was trying to figure out whether a certain basement window could be opened from the outside or not, strong hands suddenly gripped him and threw him back against the opposite wall.

He’d then been face to face with Pete Wentz and two of his most well-known hitmen, and Pete had looked like Christmas had come early this year, smirking while eyeing Mikey up and down like he was going to _devour_ him. Mikey had silently cursed himself for claiming the only job out of the office that night, leaving his team behind, who were the only ones who’d back him up in situations like this. It wasn’t like any of the partying people of Jersey noticed the two men interfering in an alley when to huge bodyguards were standing in the way, blocking the view.

At first Mikey had been sure his days were numbered and that he wasn’t going to make it out alive, because the last time he’d even _seen_ Pete Wentz was the last time they’d tried to raid what they’d assumed to be his home, which it hadn't been at all by the way, and he had taken off in the toned Cadillac that Mikey would get to know so well, after having shot Gerard in the shoulder as a friendly reminder not to stick their noses in his business. Frank had been ready to raid every single house in Jersey just to hunt the fucker down and stab him, but they’d gotten him under control and gone home with empty hands as they seemed to do whenever they tried to take out Pete. It had been about three months before the incident in the alley, but surprisingly enough Pete hadn’t been out to harm him. He’d told Mikey flat out that he wanted in his pants and if Mikey wasn’t up for it they could forget about it instantly and Pete would disappear as quickly as he’d shown up. Mikey had been positively surprised though, and didn’t need to look Pete up and down more than a couple of times before he shrugged and nodded and went with Pete for the first time. And that had been it. Now he was here, sitting alone in his car a couple of miles outside Newark while his brother was roaming the streets with his two best friends, probably despising him and worrying endlessly at the same time.

He didn’t really know if he was waiting for Pete, but in the end he found that he probably were, otherwise he could’ve parked just about anywhere in town. But he wanted to see Pete, and not to end whatever it was that they had, not the slightest bit, though he might have to anyways. Because even though he’d strictly forbidden himself to do so, he really had started to form some kind of emotional bond to Pete. He couldn’t help it, they’d talked plenty of times after that one time where Mikey broke the ice, always right after they fucked when they were both just getting down from their highs and wasn’t really aware what was okay to say and what wasn’t. And suddenly they knew all these things about each other, and it made it much more real, and much more scary, but also much, much better in Mikeys opinion. It was like the more shit about their pasts that they shared, the better the sex got, and as he sat there under the light winter sky, Mikey realized that he probably should’ve stopped a long time ago if he had really wanted to avoid wanting more from Pete than what he already got.

~

Pete didn’t show up until it was close to noon the next day, but Mikey wasn’t less excited to see him because of that. He got out of his own car and into Petes, and Pete leaned over and pressed a hard kiss to Mikeys mouth, and it tingled all the way into Mikeys feet.

“What did he say? Your brother. It was him who answered your phone, right?” Pete asked, and his eyes were fixed somewhere on Mikeys shirt, flickering with nervousness and Mikey understood with every fiber of his body.

“We fought. I didn’t tell him anything, though. I left and came here”

“Why?” Pete asked and Mikey wished he’d look at him.

“Because I’m a coward, I guess” he sighed and leaned back against the soft headrest, rubbing his hand on his face and staring at the ceiling.

“Do you wanna stop?” Pete asked carefully, and at least he was more understanding that Mikey would’ve dared to hope for.

“No. I don’t wanna stop. We should’ve stopped a long time ago. That’s the problem. I can’t have all the other things, friends, job, everything I’ve got basically, if I have you. I want you.” He was ready to punch something, himself mostly probably, and he kind of wished he hadn’t said that.

“You don’t want me Mikey. You barely know me” he said, and maybe there was a bit of regret to his voice too. Mikey didn’t know how he felt about that, so he just kept staring at the roof of the car.

“I think I do. You’ve told me the things you’ve done, the things you _do_ , and who you are and who you want to be and who you have been, and what you’d have done different if you could, Jesus – I’ve also had your _dick in my mouth_ , Pete. Somehow I feel like I know you” he rambled, sighing deeply when he was done. He could feel Petes gaze burning on his skull. There were still an empty couple of inches between them that Mikey really wanted close somewhere in the near future. He also felt like he could vomit again.

“God, shut up Mikey, just, _shut up_ ” Pete groaned, louder than Mikey had expected, causing him to flinch and duck his head slightly. He looked over and Pete who frowned and shook his head, slamming his hand on the dashboard. “You don’t know _shit_ about me. You don’t fucking know.”

His voice had increased to a yelling, and he sounded like it was about to break, which was really fucking scary to Mikey. “You can't like me. You weren’t supposed to. You weren’t allowed to like me. Fuck.” His breath had gone ragged as he talked, and by the last word he reached up and slammed his fist through the driver’s window.

Mikey who was surprised by the loud clatter of glass breaking pulled further away from Pete and hitched a breath while he watched blood starting to ooze from a couple of cuts on the back of his hand. Pete looked over at him with a pained expression. “We were not supposed to do this. We weren't  _allowed_ to”

“Pete, _Pete_ ” Mikey mumbled and reached over to- just to touch Pete actually, to try and calm him down and make him stop yelling and breaking things and expressing all these feelings that Mikey had hid away for what felt like forever.

Before his hand had gotten anywhere near Pete though, Pete had reached over and roughly grabbed Mikeys jaw, sliding himself over into the passenger seat, straddling Mikey and crashing his mouth against Mikeys, making a strained noise into the kiss and biting down on his lower lip. Mikey let his hands wander over Petes body, from his knees to his ass to his sides to his shoulders, and it was like he couldn’t find anywhere to settle them that felt right, so he just kept clinging on to Pete like he’d run out of breath if he didn’t. He could feel a warm, wet patch on his neck from Petes bleeding hand, and he kind of wanted to reach up and wipe it off, but he was too caught up in kissing Pete to really do anything about it.

"God, Mikey, _God_  I want you too"

~

Somehow, they managed to switch spots without that much further struggle, and on top of that it was a miracle that they both got their pants shoved halfway down their thighs without falling over, while they barely ever parted their mouths, Mikey would be kind of impressed if he’d had brain capacity for anything else than _petepetepete._

He grinded on him for a while, just to feel the friction, skin against skin. Pete got impatient after a while, pushing up against Mikey and Mikey was totally on the same page, because he really wanted Pete in him, not having to think about anything in the whole world. Because it might be the last time they ever did this, and later he’d have to explain to his brother and in worst case he’d lose his job and their trust. It was just a whole lot of things that he would like just to push away for the next little amount of time.

~

Mikey rode him, slow and for the longest time, just moving back and forth with his face pushed into the crook of Petes neck, mouthing words that didn’t matter onto his skin, while Pete had his head tilted back and his mouth open, making little noises that made Mikey feel like he was going to explode.  
Mikey came on Petes shirt and a little on the seat, which didn’t really matter right now. None of them wanted to move, so Mikey just kept sitting limb in Petes lap with his head on Petes shoulder.

~

“I’m sorry” Pete said at some point.

“Sorry is useless” Mikey murmured and he felt Petes body shift as he huffed a laugh. It wasn’t really funny, but Mikey didn’t care.

~

Mikey whined when he pushed himself off Pete and pulled up his pants, and he slouched in the driver’s seat for a while, as Pete still didn’t look like he was going to move anytime soon. He just sighed a couple of times and kept on looking at everything except Mikey.

~

They both flinched as Mikeys phone went off, none of them really aware of how long had passed, Mikey had gotten used to the tense silence and had tuned out his thoughts completely, and even then he kind of still wanted to peel off his own skin.

He maneuvered the phone out of his pocket and pressed his eyes shut when Gerards name lit up on the screen. He had hurt him. He had willingly hurt his own brother and then just disappeared and now Gerard was calling him, and if it wasn’t to tell Mikey that he shouldn’t bother with coming back ever again, which Mikey suspected that it wasn’t, Gerard really was a better brother than he deserved. He was anyways, actually.

Pete shot him a look that was mostly questioning out of everything, and Mikey pressed the answer button and held the phone to his ear. Pete pressed his lips together in a thin line next to him.

“-Mikey?” Franks alarming voice sounded through the speaker and Mikey frowned. There was a lot of noise on the line that blended out Frank a little, making it hard to tell his words from each other, but Mikey was sure he sounded out of it though.

“Frank, where’s Gerard?” he asked cautiously.

“I d… fucking know. Speaking of being gone w… the _fuck_ are y…” he hissed into the phone, a few of his words disappearing completely in static sounds. Mikey figured that he was driving, currently in an area without much coverage.

“What’s happening? Frank?” Mikey pushed himself further up in his seat and looked over at Pete who was still staring oddly at him, and shrugged as to indicate that he had as little idea of what was going on as Pete.

“We f… need you, Mikey, okay, I don’t c… where you a…, just get here, now, we cr…” Frank yelled into his ear, before the connection was broken off and Mikey sat back with a beeping phone and a rapidly growing uneasy feeling in his chest.

“What’s happening?” Pete asked carefully as Mikey took a deep breath.

“I don’t know. But I need to get there”

“Where?”

“I don’t know either. He was driving” he murmured, trying to keep his voice down and calm, which worked somewhat.

“That’s not very informative”

“There wasn’t much connection”

“Then he must be out of town”

“That doesn’t exactly narrow it down a lot. Jersey’s kind of big” Mikey said helplessly. Then he found Rays number in his contacts and dialed up. It only took the voicemail lady a couple of seconds to tell him that there wasn’t any connection there either. He tried Franks phone too with the same result, but he’d expected that since Frank used Gerards phone. “I’m going to drive out anyways, see if I can find them, or get any connection to either of them . I’m gonna-“

He didn’t get any further before Petes phone vibrated from somewhere down at their feet where he’d dropped it out of his pocket, before when he was busy shoving his pants down his thighs. He searched for it for a couple of moments before locating it and answering the call.

Mikey couldn’t her anything of what was said to Pete, but Pete just nodded slowly and sometimes hummed to let them know that he was listening. The call was over in less than a minute, and Pete just lowered his arm from his ear and turned his head to Mikey. “I know where your brother and his crew are”

“Where?” Mikey frowned and squinted at Pete, who just kept on looking completely serious.

“My place”

~

If he took every single case of bad timing though his entire life and added them up, he was sure it wouldn’t even reach up to the kneecaps of how fucking epically bad timing this was. Of course, the day were he was kind of trying to sort out his emotional issues with Pete is the same day as his teammates finally cracks him and find out where he has his base. Mikey was on the road now; him and Pete had frantically cleaned themselves up and then driven off in each their car without really saying anything, each heading for the same destination. They had driven each their way though, because it might seem slightly strange if one of the agents who was currently not the best of friends with the rest of the agents arrived in a caravan with the bad guy behind it all. So when Mikey arrived at the seemingly closed factory that had the address Pete had loosely scribbled down for him, he already spotted Petes car among several other black, discreet but none the less expensive cars parked behind the building.

He also spotted Gerards car that was parked down the road, and right next to it Franks car, that he assumed him and Ray had got here in. Gerard must have showed up alone. Mikey cursed under his breath because sometimes his brother needed to stop his heroic tendencies, and he kept his hand close to his gun while he snuck closer to a small entrance at the side of the building.

When he first was inside, it was clear that a lot was going on. He couldn’t actually see anyone from where he was standing, but he could definitely hear yelling and fighting somewhere above him. He ran down a few hallways and through some big, open rooms filled with cardboard boxes that he didn’t have time to look through, and located a set of fire escape stairs and quickly made his way to a higher floor, that looked more like an office complex than somewhere where a drug dealer had his headquarters.

The noises around him grew louder, and he was sure he could make out Franks voice screaming death threats somewhere on this floor, among the cacophony of guns, small explosions and what sounded like furniture being thrown around.

He followed the yelling and passed numerous closed, anonymous doors and rounded just as many corners before he ran headfirst into Pete and the two huge guys that seemed to accompany him anywhere he went except for when he was with Mikey.

The bodyguards quickly grabbed one of his arms each, and one of the firmly pressed a gun to his head before Pete could even try and stop them. Mikey closed his eyes and hoped to God that Pete hadn’t suddenly come to his senses, because Mikey sure hadn’t. He wasn’t even sure he still had senses to come to when it came to Pete.

When he opened them again Pete was only inches from his face. “Your brother is in the basement. He’s tied and gagged, but he’s fine. Find your crew, go get him and get _out_ of here. You’re outnumbered and I’m not sure my men stop if I tell them too. I don’t trust them enough to try” he mumbled, so low into Mikeys ear that the bodyguards probably couldn’t even hear him. Mikey nodded, no more than a microscopic motion of his head, and then Pete pulled back and looked him in the eyes, and Mikey couldn’t describe his expression in any other way than _sorry_.

Then the guards let him go and Pete had vanished inside a door behind him before he could really do anything besides stare dumbfound. He quickly got himself together though and headed further forward, following the sound of Franks voice and silently thanking him for being an aggressive fucker. He’d maybe take that back later when he was the one Frank would take it out on for all the things he’d done, but he didn’t really have time to think about any of that right now.

He reached the last door in one of the corridors and carefully opened it and peeked inside since he didn’t really want to get hit with an accidental bullet aimed for someone else. The view from the open door was kind of overwhelming, and Mikey needed a minute to figure out how to handle it. Frank and Ray were back to back, surrounded but at least six guys with eyes like zombies and in clothes that were far from the ones that Pete and his bodyguards wore. They were scarred and rough looking and they reminded Mikey mostly of stray dogs. They all had guns pointed at Frank and Ray though, and as miserable as they might look, they didn’t look like they’d hesitate to use them. The furnishing of the room was thrown around recklessly, and Mikey suspected that his two friends had fought greatly before the gang of what must’ve been some of Petes dealers got them held up.

Frank was yelling the worst words he could think of, never really pausing for more than a second before telling their opponents what he really thought of them and their mothers and their faces and their guns and meanwhile Ray was looking like he was thinking really hard as nobody really paid attention to him with Frank speaking up like he did right next to him. Mikey knew this tactic; Frank kept them occupied while Ray tried to find some way to escape. Mikey knew he had to be that way, and he slammed the door open in a fast motion, making the rest of the room aware of his presence.

“Mikey, what in fucking _hell_ -“ Frank started, but Mikey didn’t hear the rest of the sentence because he was rapidly approached by two of the guys, and he would’ve tried to shoot them if it wasn’t because there was a good chance of missing and hitting Frank or Ray instead. So when they got close enough he sort of ungracefully used the backstrap of the gun to punch the both of them in the jaw, one after the other, taking them momentarily out of action, giving him a chance to knock them unconscious. He’d rather they had died, but this was okay for now.

While he’d been occupied with fighting, Frank and Ray had gotten a hold of the other four guys in the room, two of them lying knocked out next to the ones Mikey had been fighting and another two bleeding and lifeless. Mikey only just had time to sigh in relief before all the air was knocked out of him as Frank jumped him and pressed his arm tight to Mikeys throat as to make sure he couldn’t get away.

“Where the _fuck_ have you been?” Frank hissed and he looked kind of demonic. Mikey shifted uncomfortably, and Frank was totally in his right to be mad at Mikey, but his brother was kind of tied up downstairs and he really wanted to get down there and free him as soon as possible. Frank could punish him afterwards.

“In my car, shit Frank, later, we need to find Gerard” Mikey argued and Frank didn’t look any kinds of convinced.

“How did you know where we were? How do you know Gerards missing? Why did you fucking harm him, you son of a bitch?” he asked again, and hit Mikey over the back of his head lightly. “ _Answer me_ ”

“I told you, I was in my car, not very far away from here, I drove out after you called and fortunately spotted your cars. Then I heard a couple of suits talk about Gerard being tied and gagged in the basement, now, Frank, let’s just go get him” Mikey lied and Frank squinted as he seemed to consider his explanation.

“Whatever, you’re still a fucking asshole” he mumbled as he let Mikey go and headed out the room, closely followed by Ray who just quickly looked at Mikey with an uncomfortable expression. Mikey sighed and went after them, gun held closely and constantly aware if there was anyone present that he should be shooting, or more importantly shouldn’t be.

~

“Gerard, _Gerard_ ” Frank called as they entered a small room on the basement floor. The door to it had been guided by a suit who now was lying face down on the concrete floor, but other than that they hadn’t met anyone on their way down. It kind of worried Mikey, because he knew from Petes stories how many men he usually kept around his place, just in case that things like these happened.

Frank had made his way inside first though Mikey was just as eager to see his brother, he wasn’t really sure how eager Gerard was to see him. Frank had just stopped acknowledging him completely, and Ray looked like he didn’t really know what to think, so he just followed Frank because he was more aggressive, and Mikey was kind of left on his own a few feet behind the others at all times.

“I’m okay Frank, calm down” Gerard said with a vague smile as Frank untied him and got him up from the chair he’d been sitting on until now. “Jesus, Frank”

Then Gerard spotted Mikey, and his face did this weird kind of twitchy thing that made Mikey feel like throwing up out of guilt, and he didn’t know what else to do that just keep standing in the back of the room, not moving and not knowing if it was appropriate for him to say anything at all.

“Mikey – when did you – how did you get here?” he asked and Mikey just shrugged.

“I called him” Frank stated coldly. “We needed all the help we could get”

“Yeah, we did” Gerard said, and at least his eyes were warmer than Franks when they landed on Mikey.

~

When they came back up on the ground floor, it wasn’t like they’d expected to just be able to walk out of the place in peace while Pete and his men pretended that they hadn’t been there at all, but okay they hadn’t really expected to run headfirst into Pete Wentz himself, on Mikeys part for the second time within very short time.

But heading for the door, he was suddenly standing there in the middle of the hallway, unfortunately without his bodyguards, looking like a deer caught in the headlights of a car. Mikey could feel panic well up in him too, since Ray and Frank was both helping Gerard walk as he’d hurt his leg while trying to escape whomever had tied him in the first place, and didn’t have any hands free to pull their guns on Pete.

Mikey met Petes eyes for a brief second, and it was like a weird silence fell across the entire hallway, only broken by everyone’s ragged breaths. It was Frank who spoke first, in a desperate tone of voice that mostly sounded like he wanted to strangle Mikey more than Pete.

“What are you waiting for? Grab him, _shoot_ him” he groaned, and Mikey kind of reluctantly made his way towards Pete and pulled out his gun, pushing Pete up against the wall of the narrow corridor and pressing his gun to Petes neck. Petes eyes were flickering wildly from Mikey to Frank and back again, and Mikey tried really hard to use some kind of telepathic abilities to tell Pete that he wasn’t going to shoot him if he could avoid it in any way. It didn’t really seem to work.

“Mikey, we’ve been waiting for this for _months_ ” Gerard said, and while Franks eyes were just majorly annoyed, Gerards was pleading and sad and Mikey couldn’t stand looking at him, knowing that he’d rather disappoint him.

“Mikey – please” Pete mouthed with wide eyes, almost inaudible as their faces were only inches apart, but Mikey still knew it had been too loud for the others not to notice in the quiet corridor.

“I- I’m” Mikey stuttered though he didn’t really know what he was. It only took a moment of looking at Pete with sorry eyes and then over at Gerard with sorry eyes before something changed in Gerards expression and Mikey knew that he _knew_. His brother was smart and it only took so much before he couldn’t help but piece together the little bits of information he’d collected through the last couple of months, and this was just the last puzzle piece he’d needed.

“Mikey” he said dangerously low and Mikey desperately bit his lip and it felt like his whole body was itching. He wanted to drop the gun and let Pete go, but he didn’t want to disappoint his brother either, he mostly wanted to just disappear off to somewhere were Pete wasn’t a criminal and he wasn’t a cop and nothing would end up like this, in complete chaos. “Mikey are you for fucking real?”

“What? What’s going on?” Frank asked with a confused tone to his anger, and Gerard just looked away.

“I’m sorry” Mikey whispered, before slowly stepping back and letting his arm fall down against his side, trying his hardest not to let any tears escape his eyes, because it felt like they were just about to right now, with the way Pete was looking at him, and the way Gerard wasn’t looking at him.

It only took another second of Frank looking confused before he silently made a decision and quickly slipped out under Gerards arm that hung across his shoulder and let Ray carry him completely, shoved Mikey into the opposite wall so he lost balance and slid down against it in sitting position, and took Mikeys previous spot keeping Pete against the wall with a gun to his throat.

“Just because he can’t-” Frank grinned and Pete let out a ragged cough as Frank pressed the gun harder into his flesh.

He didn’t get any further, because in that instant, Pete’s two gorilla-looking bodyguards slammed open the door and the end of the hallway and Frank got so startled that he forgot he was about to shoot Pete. Mikey had never been more thankful to see anyone in his entire life. That was, at least until they started shooting recklessly at everyone in the corridor, while yelling at them to let Pete go. Mikey covered his head with his arms in the sudden hail of bullets and let out a loud cry when he felt a sudden and burning pain in his shoulder. He looked up and saw Gerard and Ray taking cover in a doorway where they were pretty much out of reach for the gunshots, where Frank and Pete was in direct aim.

He saw Frank collapse as he was hit in the leg, and a blood started soaking through his jeans. Then, his view was blocked by Pete that bowed down over him, and once again their faces was no more than an inch or two away from each other.

“I’m sorry this happened” Mikey whispered, his voice hoarse and weak. He tasted blood as he spoke.

“Me too. Fuck” Pete leaned in and quickly pecked Mikeys lips, before he pulled away again. “I’d say I hope for the both of us that we never see each other again, but I think I’m just too selfish for that. I’ll see you ‘round, Mikey Way”

Then he left Mikey sitting against the concrete wall, bleeding and on the verge of passing out, with tears burning in the corners of his eyes, running down the corridor closely followed by his guards. The door slammed shortly after, and Mikey let his head fall back against the wall and his mind black out.

~

Everyone made it out alive. Thanks to Ray mostly, since he had two bleeding and unconscious men plus one with a damaged leg to carry out to the cars, but he also received a medal for it from the office, that he proudly displayed on the inside of his jacket from then on.

~

The next thing Mikey remembered was waking up in a room so white that he first though he’d died. That was, until a friendly but stern nurse walked in and told him that it was on damn time he’d woken up because his brother was here to see him. Then Mikey felt like just passing out again, and the nurse gave him some water because she said he went very pale all of sudden.

Gerard was wearing casual clothes when he entered, not the bloody suit Mikey had last seen him in. His face hadn’t changed a lot, though.

“I don’t know what to say” he stated as he took place in the plastic chair next to Mikeys bed.

“You don’t have to say anything. I know” Mikey rasped and then coughed, reaching for the glass of water again. Gerard waited patiently while he drank, sitting with his legs crossed looking very tired.

“Did you-“ Gerard started but cut himself off, looking like he had a hard time letting the words leave his mouth. “Do you love him?”

“I don’t know. That’s kind of a big question”

“Picking him over your career and your friends is a big decision”

“Ouch” Mikey mumbled and Gerard shrugged. “I guess I did- do, then”

“We didn’t catch him. Rumor says he’s so far below the border he’s probably making his way through a rainforest by now. He’s still alive though. We aren’t hunting him anymore either, case closed, y’know. We’ll let south American authorities take him from here”

Mikey raised an eyebrow at his brother. “How gentle of you”

“You said it”

“I guess I just wasn’t built to be a fed, Gerard, I’m just not you, or Frank or Ray” he sighed and pushed himself further up in sitting position. “I mean, I passed the tests and completed the training and did my best but, I don’t know, I guess I just wasn’t in it with all my heart”

Gerard nodded slowly. “Well, you’ll have to find something else to do now anyways. Nobody over at the office was really thrilled to hear you willingly let Pete Wentz go”

“I can imagine” Mikey said with a small smile. “I’m just glad I didn’t have to be there”

Gerard smiled back at this, and Mikey felt something in his chest ease a little.

“Look, Gerard, I’m sorry for all the things that happened. I never meant for any of it, I just kind of lost control of everything. I’ve been an asshole”

“Yeah. I thought you were just fucking around though, I didn’t know you liked him too. That kind of makes the whole thing different. _I_ think so at least, Frank might need a month or five to cool down though. I wouldn’t get near him at the moment if I was you”

“Trust me, I won’t. I can survive Pete Wentz but I’m not gonna take any chances with Frank. I know him to well for that” Mikey smiled. “I’m already thankful I’m still alive”

“I am too. You’re still my baby brother and I’m supposed to be there when you make absolutely _mental_ decisions” Gerard said before reaching over and ruffling Mikeys hair. Mikey easily leaned into it, because even though it hadn’t been for long, he’d still missed his brother’s unconditional affection.

“I could always become a prison guard. I’ve already got the training and I might run into someone I know” he joked after Gerard had sat back in his chair.

“Oh shut up, you wouldn’t last a day in prison”

~

“A pre-school?” Gerard said with a lopsided smile, fidgeting with the cup of coffee in front of him. “That’s a bit of a change”

“Toddlers are nicer than criminals. I also actually see the sun on a daily basis” Mikey said sheepishly and took another sip of his cup. They were settled in a Starbucks close to the new flat that Mikey had rented for the last salary he got from his time as a fed. He hadn’t felt like living with three other agents when he wasn’t going to be one anymore.

“You seemed to be quite fond of the criminals, though” Gerard smiled and Mikey crossed his arms.

“Low. But I like it there, it’s not so stressful and the parents are nice”

“I’m glad you do. So, have you heard from him?”

Mikey knew that the question would come, and no matter how casual Gerard tried to sound, the wary in his voice wasn’t hard to notice. “Yeah. He’s doing okay. Nothing criminal as far as I know”

“But you don’t know” Gerard said carefully and Mikey sighed.

“No, I don’t. But he’d wanted to get out of it for a long time before all of this happened. But, y’know, it’s not just a day job you can go ahead and quit”

“Huh, so are you gonna go see him?”

Mikey didn’t say anything at first and Gerard leaned forward a little. “Mikey-“

“It’s not for sure. It’s an expensive trip and I have a job too now”

“But you want to go see him”

“Honestly, yes. I want to” Mikey sighed and finished his coffee.

“Then go see him. Honestly” Gerard said and Mikey raised his eyebrow in return. “I mean it”

“You wanted him dead less than a month ago. Now you want me to go see him”

“It was never anything personal, it was just the job, y’know, it clearly is personal for you. Besides, he’s not our division anymore. He could be rebuilding his drug-empire somewhere in South America right now and it wouldn’t really be any of my business”

“I don’t think he is though”

“Hopefully not” Gerard huffed. “I should get back, I need a couple of hours before it gets dark”

“Yeah. Y’know, I found out I actually really like sleeping at night”

“You’ve really found your spot in a world of stepping on legos and non-stop wailing, haven’t you” Gerard laughed before they both got up from their table and left the coffeehouse. “You should get some kids with the guy, seriously, you’d be the American dream”

“Totally” Mikey joked and nudged his brothers shoulder lightly with his own. “I couldn’t imagine anything more picture-perfect” 

 

 

_"ce que j'ai fait, ce soir la,  
ce qu'il a dit, ce soir la"  
_

_  
_~ end ~


End file.
